‘She’s gone’ and with those words my life was torn asunder. I had spent many years taking care of my mother and the last 4 had slowly become more and more difficult for both of us. Mum was suffering physically and I could see her slowly fading away. The last year was the worst (of course) as she became weaker and sicker eventually having a stroke and passing on to a better world.
After the stress and trauma of Mum’s passing I started thinking what I would do, I had no plans as my whole life had been work, children then looking after parents (although there had been a lot of travel dreaming over my life time and a little bit of actual travel). Then more drama, which cut my planning short, the last surviving member of my family of origin took legal action on Mum’s will. Being stunned is an understatement. We had lost our brother way back in 1980, a musician with great talent gone too early. Then our father in 2001 and our mother in 2010. I thought that perhaps being the last ones left would have drawn us closer, but no. Then, a bit more than a year into the legal action this brother also died. This really threw me. Now there was no-one left from my family of origin, no-one who knew me as a child, no-one from my family of origin to love or even be angry at! What was I to do?
Yes, I have 2 sons, but they each have their own lives. One was building several businesses and had a life partner also with business ventures, they are busy creating their lives (exactly as it should be), the other one had kicked off his shoes and was travelling somewhere in the wilds of Central America, when would be the next time that I would see him? No idea! And that is as it should be too. Sometimes I wish I’d done the same – but then……I wouldn’t have these 2 awesome sons and I wouldn’t be who I am, my life would have been different.
Then I took a long hard look at my life, no life partner, no family of origin left, no-one available to travel with (at least not outside of Australia) a house that wasn’t earning me any money and to all intents and purposes no future with much fun in it, except on those odd occasions when I would get together with friends. Yes I have amazing friends who will always be there for me and I love them all dearly, I have my writing and connections with fellow poets and writers, but they all have lives, responsibilities and families of their own. It seemed that I was the only one with no good reason to stay in one place.
So many people get to this point in their lives, a vague future with little or no purpose nothing to do except gardening and reading (and a few other hobbies here and there). There is a time and place for that, but I wasn’t ready for it yet. I was an emotional mess after many years of stress and sitting around at home wasn’t going to help.
Once all the legal problems with my brother’s family were over I re-assessed my situation. I could stay in my house and do the daily routine thing but I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to sit around waiting for someone to be available for social time. There were too many memories and too much sorrow, too much grief and way too much thinking time – not only was my family of origin gone to greener pastures but so were many dear friends – life is short, life is unpredictable, and yet life should still be fun.
I became the Golden Oldie traveller.
I rented out my house.
I packed my bags.
I hugged my friends farewell.
I started writing a blog.
And took off on a life mission for 12 months to see the world and re-align my body, mind and spirit.
I had dreamed of this all my life and here I was doing it. Much later than I would have wished, perhaps it would also have been nice to have a travelling partner but none around, however, I am mobile and not too old, so I can still do some fun stuff, with only a few limitations and I’ll be darned if I’m going to not do things just because there is no-one to share it with. Anyway, travelling with others can be a tricky business as I found out in some earlier, shorter travel, you have to be very careful with whom you choose to travel, sometimes it is better to just go alone. So off I went, initially with my 2 sons and daughter – in – law for a few weeks to take part of my mother’s ashes home to Dalmatia, then off on my own, exploring the world.
So what have I been doing? So far in 10 months –
6 + villages
6 cities, 1 conference and a whole lot of music and poetry to go, before returning home at the end of 12 months for further re-assessment.
I have seen places I never planned to see, I have been to places I have dreamed of all my life. I heard Andrea Bocelli sing under the Tuscan moon, walked on soil where ancient gods and goddesses walked. I have seen palaces and villages and fields of red poppies, I hugged trees in the Vienna woods, saw the devastation of the 2013 European floods, saw the results of WWII in Dresden, stood on the spy bridge in Potsdam, had some of the best coffee and some of the worst. I have walked on Elvis’ carpets, touched his school friend, stayed where the Delta blues were born and got more than a little drunk on Hand Grenades. I met some of the most amazing people in my travels, of all ages (including an inspirational 90 year old solo traveller) many of these people are now lifelong friends. I shared the realisation of my dream of the Blue grotto with my children and spent much time exploring Serbia, the land where my parents grew up, I walked in their footsteps. I stayed with friends I haven’t seen in a lifetime, sang silly Swedish crayfish songs, road tripped with an old school friend in the USA, ate breakfast while watching mini eruptions from a volcano, listened to some of the best music in the most unlikely places, saw sunrises and sunsets all over the world, managed to catch up with the children one more time and turned 63 in Antigua Guatemala.
Of course, I photographed absolutely everything I could. A nice mix of travelling with people, travelling alone and being supported by my friends at home via the magic of social networking, so I knew that they were all travelling with me in spirit and they knew I was safe.
Yes, I have escaped God’s Waiting Room, and I would like to invite every other Golden Oldie out there to join me in more travel. It doesn’t have to be for 12 months, you just have to get out of that front door and go somewhere, anywhere that is different, for whatever length of time you want. More than likely I won’t do 12 months again, it’s a long time to be away from home, but travel I will, knowing that my Australia will be waiting for me each time I return.
So God’s waiting room will just have to wait a little longer for me, there is a world out here to explore, come join me. And perhaps my favourite chorus lines from that beautiful Rowland Salley song performed by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss will relate to you too….
‘Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.’
6 thoughts on “Intermission – Escaping God’s Waiting Room”
Beyond an honour to have met you; such a wonderful woman with an infectious zest for life! You inspire me to be me and to continue the travelling road, whichever cobblestone street it may lead me 🙂
How ironic that I met you at a hostel named ‘Hedonist Hostel’ –
1.a person who believes that the pursuit of pleasure is the most important thing in life; a pleasure-seeker.
All I can say is ‘Ziveli!’ 🙂
Thank you Nat, yes our respective Universes love throwing people together who can continue to inspire each other. I still class the Hedonist as the best hostel ever. Love having you as a friend, may we meet up again soon.
How are you? WHERE are you?
I finally moved to Amsterdam and got a job (starting monday) Agnes are going to visit me next week, she has been travelling the middle east, crazy huh? but fun to ofc!
Send me an email (email@example.com) and let me know what you are up to!
Hi Frida, I was just thinking about you today. I am in Austin Texas, moving on to San Francisco tomorrow. One more week and I will be going home – I can’t believe the 12 months is nearly over. So glad you have decided on Amsterdam I hope it is working out for you. Stay in touch on my private email. And give Agnes a hug from me.
I just read about your travels and am full of admiratiion for your courage. I would love to do something like that
can you give me some idea approximately how much you need to have and how and where do you begin on such a journey?Dont you always have to buy a return ticket before you can get visas?
Hi Sally, thank you for your comment. I urge you to go travel as much as you can. I bought an ‘around the world ticket’ from Virgin Atlantic with a return date 12 months after leaving Australia (that’s the longest I could get). For me that was the cheapest way of doing this with only 3 stops (London, New York, LA) because I wanted to be free to organise my own travel within continents. I don’t think you need to get a return ticket necessarily, but for some countries you need to have proof that you are leaving the country after a certain time (an onward ticket). There is so much information I can give you, perhaps you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org (please reference this conversation in the subject so I don’t accidentally delete you) would love to share anything that will help you go travelling.